Nollaig shona duit!

I remember as a kid sitting around the tree, looking at the Nativity set, opening presents and my old man saying "Hey, aren't we Jewish?"

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !

What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite

What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
I'll have a boo Christmas without you

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Crisp Kringle

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
He had a low elf esteem

There will be no Christmas celebration in Washington, DC
this year. Apparently they could not find three wise men.

Sometimes I get the feelin that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.

Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.

When I was young we were poor. We didn't have a Christmas tree, we had a Christmas stump.

When I was a kid our Christmases were very poor. We couldn't afford tinsel. We had to wait for grandpa to sneeze.

What do you get if you cross Raquel Welch and Santa Claus?
A thank you card from Santa.

Why does Santa wear pink underwear?
He's a man. He did all his laundry in the one load.

What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itus

Merry whatever!