Good Whit Hunting

It makes me nervous when Dick Cheney is unloading his shotgun on old duffers named Harry.

When I go out hunting I take 2 bottles of Bourbon in case of snake bites. I also bring 2 snakes.

I took my new wife up to my cabin for the first time and she was offended by the bear rug in the entry way. I said "Honey, it's the law of the jungle, it was either him or me." She thought about it and said he did make a better rug.

Sometimes I wonder about her though ... before I went deer hunting last November she took out a large life insurance policy on me and then game me a deerskin coat for my trip.

I was telling my pal about the elk I shot on my last hunting trip. He said How'd you know it was an elk?" I said "By his membership card."

My ex-wife was suspicious when I went to Vegas for a hunting trip. When I got home she asked if my gun had worked okay and I told her it was fine. Then she unzipped my rifle case and there was nothing in it but divorce papers.

Q: What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A: Beer Nuts are around a dollar seventy-nine, and deer nuts are just under a buck!

I overheard Dick Cheney say "Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?"

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

I usually go hunting without bullets. It's cheaper and the results are the same.

You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer.

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Daisy air rifles: Keeping kids off your lawn for more than forty years.

Old hunters never die, they just stay loaded.