Monday School

I ordered a medium cup of the Brazil roast at my neighborhood Dunn Brothers this morning, the hip young gentleman with the headset asks me "Black?", I sez, "No, I'm white."

Stirred up a little ruckus at Church yesterday, after I took a pull off the Sacramental wine I wiped my mouth and, in a loud voice, said, "Ahhhhhh, nothing like a little hair of the dog ..."

Later, during confession, the priest sez, "Say Harry, when exactly did you convert to Catholicism?" "I sez, oh yeah, now I remember what I'm here to confess."

He sez "That's cool Harry, we accept all denominations here ... tens, twenties, fifties ..."

I heard they put a restaurant on the moon, great food but no atmosphere.

I'm in the middle of reading Jimmy Carter's brilliant new book, "Our Endangered Values : America's Moral Crisis". I was getting a little misty reading it, here is a man of great compassion and intellect who is fully devoted to his evangelical faith and moral values yet, even as a devout Southern Baptist he has the wisdom and courage to keep a separation from the Church and State. Hey, speaking of Baptists, you know why they frown upon screwing so much? They're afraid it might lead to dancing.

I too was raised with a strong dedication to my faith but I have admit, after years of education and life experience I find myself to be an agnostic. Word got around about that and one night I awoke to find a burning question mark on my front lawn.

Q. What you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A. A stick

I was making love to the wife the other night, she asked me to put on some romantic music. The only CD I had handy was "A Charlie Brown Christmas" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio. When we were done she said, "Great, another childhood memory ruined."

Just to prepare for any any future action I put a copy of Chopin's "Minute Waltz" on my nightstand.

I heard Mozart couldn't never find his mentor, he was Haydn.

Say, did you catch the State of the Union Address the other night? I guess it turns out everything's okay.